Restless

I’m restless. Unsettled. For the first time since graduating college (several years ago), I feel like I need to go and do. Go where? Do what? Well, I’m not really sure about that part.

I’m doing things right now that I love. Work things, home things, community involvement things.

I love being in a community with people that I love. Good people.

I have a good home. A good life… I don’t want that part to change, I just want it to grow.

I feel like I’m missing out on something. I’m not in the middle of any adventure like I always expected.

When I was younger and was free to go on adventures, I was scared to.

I’m a play-it-safe kind of girl, and I’m a little weary with it. But I feel like I’m a little too settled in now for any big adventures.

It’s smooth sailing.

Smooth sailing is good. Isn’t it what we strive for, after all?

I’ve been so very blessed in my life, and I feel guilty for having this feeling. This itch.

I want it to go away, but it grows, and I don’t know how to fix it.

I want to venture out, seek opportunity, achieve, experience different things, explore new places, open my eyes to the world outside my little safe place where I’ve always been. Where I’ve never left.

I grew up being afraid of what’s out there, and I don’t want my kids to be afraid of it.

I like resolution, in life and in my writing, which is partly what makes this place I’m in so taxing. Today, this week, this month, this year, there is no resolution. I’m left with the restlessness.

Just the restlessness.

lovelinkin.com

Comments (27)

  1. Eric Storch

    I’m not quite sure what to say, but I’m practical to the core (something that irks my wife from time to time) so a few practical suggestions:

    Adult Ed – Many local schools offer night classes that can be fun. From Creative Writing to some kind of craft thing, you might find something.

    Local Arts – Check your local paper (or college paper if you have any colleges near) and see what’s going on. Getting involved in community theater for instance.

    Charity – There are tons of charities that need help all year long. Volunteer.

    Sorry if this isn’t what you need right now, but like I said, I’m annoyingly practical.
    Eric Storch recently posted..What’s in a name?My Profile

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    1. jenny leigh (Post author)

      Thanks for the wonderful suggestions, Eric. (And Being practical is always a good thing in my opinion!!) I live in a wonderful, but very rural area. (Two hours to Target!) I was on vacation last week when I wrote this–in the middle of lots of things that aren’t typical of home. Sometimes it’s easy for me to forget how big the world is, but lately it’s been on my mind a lot.

      Reply
  2. Brandy @ Momwich

    Found you on Lovelinks, passing through the blog to say hello. I’ve felt this way before, act on it! I wish I had each time I felt it.
    Brandy @ Momwich recently posted..Brain Surgery…My Profile

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    1. jenny leigh (Post author)

      Thank you Brandy! It’s so much harder to act on it than it is to think about acting on it… Haha! I’ve never been at a place I felt confident enough in myself to do the things I dreamed about. I’m getting there, though. And I have to say that as I’m sitting here typing this, I’ve come to quite a realization. Something I hadn’t though about before, and I thank you for that! There’s nothing better than a moment of clarity.

      Reply
  3. Jessica Gardner

    I too am stopping in from lovelinks and I agree with Brandy! act on it! 🙂
    Jessica Gardner recently posted..What a GUY!My Profile

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    1. jenny leigh (Post author)

      Thanks Jessica! I’m working up my nerve 🙂

      Reply
  4. Shannon from 'mynewfavoriteday'

    I have known this itch. I have been trying to scratch it for the past year and it seems to be working with more of an effort this year. I spend a lot of time doing for others and not so much for me, so with my writing, with my advocacy and this year with some girls time I am rounding out my stuff for me. More time doing something new, I am going to a Zumba class with a friend which should be comical at best and other little things. I hope you find your way to figuring out the restlessness. A new hobby, a small change…whatever you need. Good luck!
    Shannon from ‘mynewfavoriteday’ recently posted..New Year, Old RemindersMy Profile

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    1. jenny leigh (Post author)

      My life sounds very similar, Shannon. I’m glad to know I’m not alone. Starting a blog was one of the things I’ve done for the itch, just so I could start writing again… It was something that was only for me and it has helped some. I’m going to keep working on it!

      Reply
  5. Ryan (The Woven Moments)

    Man, have I been there. That restlessness is exhausting. And maddening.

    I was thinking about a service trip a few months back. Did you know you can travel with an organization for 2 weeks (or more) to a country in need and volunteer your time and skills?

    It’s kind of like a single serving adventure – brief, exciting, and giving. I can’t wait to try it when my kids are a little older I can get away for 2 weeks!
    Ryan (The Woven Moments) recently posted..The Resolution MatrixMy Profile

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    1. jenny leigh (Post author)

      I would love to go on a service trip, but like you, I would have to wait till my kids get older. It’s a good thing to put on my list!

      Reply
  6. Alison@Mama Wants This

    I’ve been there. I think we’ve all been at some point. I’d say do something out of your ordinary. Be it wearing yellow pants, or taking a road trip out one weekend to someplace you’ve never been before. But act on it. Life is too short for regrets.
    Alison@Mama Wants This recently posted..Word-ish Wednesday: A Boy and a Basketball CourtMy Profile

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  7. Trish

    Me too also. I agree with Ali: try something new, however small. Last year on our anniversary getaway, we spend an entire weekend going places we had never been, trying foods that were new to us, etc. etc. It was so refreshing!

    I think the best way to pull yourself out of a rut is to drop it into 4-wheel drive and GUN IT! 😀

    Trish
    Trish recently posted..1,000 WordsMy Profile

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    1. jenny leigh (Post author)

      I love the “GUN IT!” Which also reminded me of what Ryan (@thewovenmoments) wrote about 20 seconds of insane courage, a reference to the movie “We Bought a Zoo.” You’re exactly right. I need to gun it! And I think I’m almost at a place that I can do it with confidence. Thank you.

      Reply
  8. Jackie

    I found it interesting to read that you wrote this while on vacation. Often I find myself resisting the norm/the everyday when I come back.
    If you come up with an idea, I say go for it!
    Jackie recently posted..A Little MathMy Profile

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    1. jenny leigh (Post author)

      Usually when I go on vacation, I lose the itch, at least for the time that I’m there. This year it only seemed to make it grow. It was strange, I’m always refreshed and ready to jump back into things after a vacation but this time not so much. I really just wanted to stay there.

      Reply
  9. January

    Thanks for popping in to my blog! I have felt this way many times. And like you, I feel guilty because my life IS so great. Sometimes it’s just that I need to get out of the house or have some time to myself or be with friends and laugh…a LOT. Laughing always helps! 😉
    January recently posted..Hiccups in the NightMy Profile

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    1. jenny leigh (Post author)

      I LOVE your blog! And you’re right. Laughing can cure just about anything 🙂

      Reply
  10. Kindred Adventures

    What a really pretty piece. It really spoke to me so clearly. It was to the point, honest and raw. It also moved me and made me really feel for you. It is really damn hard being a mom. Sometimes we really do not get to do exactly what we want to do. It is hard. I hope you find what you are looking for. I can tell your heart needs this! -LV visiting from LoveLinks
    Kindred Adventures recently posted..Not This Year…My Profile

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    1. jenny leigh (Post author)

      Thank you so much for that comment! You’re right, there is so much to juggle, and so often we get caught up in what is best for the majority. And I’m okay with that, but sometimes I do miss the freedom to do whatever I want without worrying about the effect it would have on everyone else. Thanks for popping over to my blog!

      Reply
  11. Stasha

    Restlessness can lead to something big. I like your writing style!
    Stasha recently posted..Wordless WednesdayMy Profile

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    1. jenny leigh (Post author)

      Thanks Stasha! I really hope I’m on the road to something big 🙂

      Reply
  12. XLMIC

    You’re young and you only go around once. Take it from an old fart…just GO! make that adventure NOW! You will be so happy you did 🙂 Wishing you the best with whichever way you play it 🙂
    XLMIC recently posted..My naïveté…My Profile

    Reply
    1. jenny leigh (Post author)

      Thank you for the encouragement. I have thought several times about how you only live once. I need to suck it up and go for it!

      Reply
  13. Miss Marina Star

    Every time I get this “itch” I cut my hair, which is why I’m almost bald and have nothing new and exciting to show for myself.

    In all seriousness though, you will find your new road, the restlessness will lead you there. Don’t feel guilty just because you think you should feel happy and settled. Change is how we grow.
    Miss Marina Star recently posted..The Best Kind of DozenMy Profile

    Reply
    1. jenny leigh (Post author)

      I laughed out loud for real when I read this, because just this week I was trying to make a hair appointment. haha! My hair is so long, and I thought… maybe if I cut it short again… It’s like a whole new me! Thank you so much for the encouragement. I feel like I have really made some big realizations about my life path lately, and I’m at that place now that I feel like I know what I need to do, but I just need to get the courage to act on it. I think my itch is the knowing and sitting on it.

      Reply
  14. Jamie

    I think you should take a trip each month to somewhere you’ve never been. Maybe the neighboring town/city, doesn’t have to be big and fancy. You can get creative. Even just making plans like this helps me lose the itch.
    Jamie recently posted..hey good lookin’ whatcha got cookin’My Profile

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  15. jenny leigh (Post author)

    Thanks Jamie! I do always look forward to trips. We’ve got one set for February and I’m totally trying to focus on the fun that’s ahead!

    Reply

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