I’m restless. Unsettled. For the first time since graduating college (several years ago), I feel like I need to go and do. Go where? Do what? Well, I’m not really sure about that part.
I’m doing things right now that I love. Work things, home things, community involvement things.
I love being in a community with people that I love. Good people.
I have a good home. A good life… I don’t want that part to change, I just want it to grow.
I feel like I’m missing out on something. I’m not in the middle of any adventure like I always expected.
When I was younger and was free to go on adventures, I was scared to.
I’m a play-it-safe kind of girl, and I’m a little weary with it. But I feel like I’m a little too settled in now for any big adventures.
It’s smooth sailing.
Smooth sailing is good. Isn’t it what we strive for, after all?
I’ve been so very blessed in my life, and I feel guilty for having this feeling. This itch.
I want it to go away, but it grows, and I don’t know how to fix it.
I want to venture out, seek opportunity, achieve, experience different things, explore new places, open my eyes to the world outside my little safe place where I’ve always been. Where I’ve never left.
I grew up being afraid of what’s out there, and I don’t want my kids to be afraid of it.
I like resolution, in life and in my writing, which is partly what makes this place I’m in so taxing. Today, this week, this month, this year, there is no resolution. I’m left with the restlessness.
Just the restlessness.